Episode Summary
How do we keep moving forward in a world that doesn't feel like ours anymore? We need grit to stay strong and we need resilience to stay flexible. Join us for a simple ceremony to do both.
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About the Show
Shame Piñata is hosted by Ritual Artist Colleen Thomas, a Certified Meditation and Mindfulness teacher who helps people make sense of life through ceremony. Music by Terry Hughes.
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Full Transcript
There's a quote that really speaks to me right now. It's by writer Catherine DeVrye. It goes, “Like tiny seeds with potent power to push through tough ground and become mighty trees, we hold innate reserves of unimaginable strength. We are resilient.”
It's turning into the long haul now, isn't it? The daily push to make it day to day with COVID is getting a little draining and we're all getting a little worn out. But we need to stay strong and keep our focus. There's a way to reconnect to our strength and build resilience. All it takes is some time and focus and maybe a strong Ancestor or two.
This is Shame Piñata. I’m Colleen Thomas. Welcome to Shame Piñata, where we talk about creating rites of passage for real-life transitions. So, it's been a while now that we've been doing the COVID dance. It's not so scary and new anymore, but it's still a big wildcard in our lives that might get us at any time and that can be pretty draining. It creates that kind of tension where if we sit still with it for too long, it gets overwhelming.
Ever since this saga began, I've been thinking about my Ancestors who lived through wars and other extended times of great difficulty. How did they do it? How did they keep going when things were falling apart around them? Did they ever feel like they just couldn't do it anymore? Did they ask questions like, "When will it get better? When can we get back to normal?" Was there any point at which they stopped asking those questions?
Today we're going to talk about grit and resilience. How do we keep going over the long haul? How do we keep moving forward in a world that doesn't feel like ours anymore?
Merriam-Webster defines grit as "firmness of mind or spirit : unyielding courage in the face of hardship or danger". That's what our Ancestors had to have had, or developed over time. We need these traits today to stay the course right now. To keep taking whatever precautions the CDC is recommending, to continue to carefully follow the safety routines we've established at home or work, to get out of bed and figure out another day in liminal space.
But that firmness of mind and unyielding courage needs to come from somewhere. Most of us are digging deep into our reserves to pull that off so we also need to develop resilience in order to bounce back from the stress of day to day life right now. Merriam-Webster defines resilience as "an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change." Yes. That's what we need.
So how can we develop that ability? Sometimes simple things can help. I put a sign on the wall when pandemic started that says: breathe, hydrate, blood sugar, sleep, laugh, cry. It helps me to remember to return to basics on a daily basis - and every day I need the reminder. Another thing we can do is ceremony.
If we were going to build a ceremony focused on grit and resilience, you and I, we might first want to look around and identify an object or image that speaks of courage to us. You might dig out something a bold friend gave you, someone you really admire. I might grab a picture of a hearty Ancestor or an image of my favorite superhero. We could also grab something we could wear, or keep in our pocket, like a bracelet made of beads or even just a cord, or a rock from the shores of a lake that's seen tough winters. Something that makes us feel stronger when we look at it or hold it.
We might bring this object to a quiet space, somewhere we won't be disturbed for a little while, along with some pen and paper. Once here, we might just sit and breathe for a bit. Deep breaths like this. Notice what we're sitting on. Notice what we're hearing. Notice how our clothes feel against our skin.
One way to transition from everyday life into a more ceremonial space is to make a list of current worries and concerns, especially right now, to get them out of our way for a little while. We might set a time for 2 minutes and just write down everything that's banging around in our heads. When the timer goes off, we can look at the list and think, "Wow, that's a LOT!" and put the paper down.
Then we might begin to welcome any feelings of resistance in us that just don't want to do this anymore. We can breathe into them. Yes, this is hard. So hard. It's sad. And it's heartbreaking. And it's infuriating. And it's... you fill in the blank. This is a chance to really get in touch with any voice inside us that says, "No. I'm not doing this anymore No, no, no, no, no, no!" There are so many strategies we have for not being present to something that is hard. Shopping, overeating, drinking too much, zoning out on social media. The parts of us that engage in these behaviors really do need a break. They need an opportunity to say no and have that honored.
So, we can let them say no. And if we feel moved, we can write from their voice or get up and stomp around, or punch pillows, or anything that lets out some of that No energy and doesn't hurt ourselves or anyone around us.
And when that process feels complete, and that voice feels really, actually heard and taken seriously, we can turn to our object and see what it sparks in us about courage and strength, about moving on when that feels super hard or even impossible. This might be a time to drop into a meditation focusing on the strength we are wanting to call into our lives or do more writing or movement about that. A meditation might look like remembering what our body feels like when we feel bold, strong, and brave. We might call to mind a time when we took a risk and came out on top, when we survived a big personal challenge and really bring that feeling back into our body. What did it feel like to survive? What was going on in our body the moment we realized, "I made it. I did the thing, the incredibly hard thing I thought I couldn't do!" What did that feel like?
When we have a true sense of the strength we are calling in, we can send it into that object, imbuing it with all of that good, strong, solid energy - really bathing the object in it. Maybe inviting in some extra energy from that strong Ancestor or from the Spirit realm, if we work with the Spirit realm. Just letting the object fill up with our intention. This is called programming an object. It's something that's often done with crystals. It's a powerful process of charging an object with an intention so that it will forever be a touchstone of that intention.
When that process feels complete, we might take a few minutes to thank the object and send gratitude to that strong Ancestor or friend or the creators of that superhero. And we might also send a bit of gratitude to ourselves for being willing to keep going even when it's hard. Then, we can close by taking a few more centering breaths and having something to eat.
After the ceremony, we might place this object somewhere where we will see it often, maybe on our desk, maybe on the mantel, or in the kitchen window. If it's wearable, we can wear it or keep it in a pocket. A neat thing about filling an object with this kind of intention is that no one else has to ever know. To them, it might look like the old DVD of our favorite superhero movie is just around for decoration. But when we see it, we will shift a little deeper into that knowing.
So as you move forward with grit, I encourage you to find ways to build resilience through weaving ceremony into your life. It's a wonderful tool that is always there for you at a moment's notice.
Before we go, you're going to hear me say this for the next couple months: We're taking a survey of our listeners, and we'd love for you to participate. It will help us learn more about you - no matter how long you've been a listener or how frequently you listen to the show. So please take a few minutes and visit our website at shamepinata.com. You'll find the listener survey link right on that page. To offer our thanks to you for taking the time to share your reflections on the show, we'll send you a 5-minute centering meditation. And there is a way to complete the survey anonymously and still receive the meditation!
Our music is by Terry Hughes. If you like the show, please follow us on Facebook where we share engaging resources about ceremony in our everyday lives. I'm Colleen Thomas. Thanks for listening.